In today’s fast-paced, consumer-driven world, it’s easy to feel like love is best expressed through material gifts. Parents and grandparents, eager to see smiles on their children’s faces, often buy more toys and gadgets than little hands can hold. But can love really be bought? Research says otherwise.

The Problem With Too Many Toys

A 2018 study published in Infant Behavior and Development revealed that children who are surrounded by fewer toys are more likely to focus deeply, play creatively, and engage meaningfully. The study found that an excess of toys can overwhelm children, reducing their ability to concentrate on a single activity and inhibiting the development of problem-solving skills.

Furthermore, toys that go unused often end up cluttering homes, creating stress for parents and contributing to waste in landfills. For children, the initial excitement of receiving a new toy can quickly fade, leaving behind a craving for the next thing—rather than fostering contentment with what they have.

What Truly Builds Love and Self-Worth

Studies consistently show that a child’s sense of self-worth and the strength of family relationships are rooted in the quality of time spent together, not in the quantity of gifts received. According to research from the University of Illinois, children who spend more time engaging in activities with their parents or grandparents report higher levels of emotional well-being and stronger relationships.

Activities as simple as cooking together, playing board games, or taking a walk create lasting memories. These experiences give children the attention and affirmation they need to feel valued and loved, without the fleeting joy of material possessions.

The Myth of Buying Love and Respect

Many well-intentioned adults fall into the trap of thinking that expensive gifts can fill emotional gaps. However, research published in Child Development highlights that children don’t equate the value of a gift with the value of the relationship. Instead, children respect and cherish adults who listen to them, set healthy boundaries, and invest time in their lives.

Dr. Gary Chapman, in his book The Five Love Languages of Children, explains that while gifts can be one expression of love, they’re far less impactful than quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, and acts of service. In fact, excessive gift-giving can dilute the emotional impact of meaningful presents and send the unintended message that love must be “earned” through material means.

How to Shift the Focus to What Matters Most

For parents and grandparents eager to foster strong, loving relationships, here are a few strategies to prioritize time over toys:

1. Create Rituals: Establish a weekly tradition, like Sunday morning pancakes or Friday evening movie nights, that builds anticipation and connection.
2. Give Experiences Instead of Things: Opt for activities like a trip to the zoo, a baking class, or a day at the park. These experiences leave lasting memories and provide opportunities for bonding.
3. Engage in Open Conversations: Make space for meaningful discussions about values, hopes, and dreams. These conversations can strengthen emotional ties and build mutual respect.
4. Invest in Financial Literacy Together: Explore fun ways to teach children about money and values, such as gifting shares of stock and helping them track their growth. This creates a legacy of financial education while spending time together.

A Legacy of Love

Ultimately, love and respect can’t be bought—they’re cultivated through time, care, and shared experiences. When parents and grandparents focus on building memories rather than buying toys, they create a foundation of trust, emotional security, and a sense of worth that no material gift can match.

In a world that encourages us to consume, it’s vital to remember that the most valuable gift we can give our children is ourselves—our time, our attention, and our love.

Ready to build meaningful connections and a lasting legacy with your family? Sign up for more information about growing gift! You’ll receive resources, activity ideas, and tools to help you create a financially secure future for your children—while strengthening your family ties today.

References

• Dauch, C., Imwalle, M., Ocasio, B., & Metz, A. (2018). “The influence of the number of toys in the environment on toddlers’ play.” Infant Behavior and Development.
• Chapman, G. (1997). The Five Love Languages of Children.
• University of Illinois Extension. “Parenting Practices and Child Well-Being.”